How are you doing? Do you feel good about your life? Are you successful? Success will mean different things to different people. It is important to clearly define your own criteria for success.
It is my personal belief that the ultimate definition of success is doing exactly what God has sent you to do. I believe God has a great plan for every single life. The plan is our specific destinies.
Whatever your definition for success, one thing’s for certain: You will not achieve this by yourself. You will need people throughout the journey.
Right about now we should make the following important distinction. As much as you’ll need certain people to reach your full potential, you’ll also need to avoid certain other people. See, you have a choice. You can choose to be very strategic about the relationships in your life. Not everyone who’s in your life at the moment need to be there. Also, nothing stops you from pursuing new relationships that will enhance your life.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
If Jim Rohn was right, the people you surround yourself with are crucial to your success or the lack there-off. So what kind of people should be part of your strategic relationships?
Here follows 5 kinds of people that will help you to fulfill your destiny:
The Spiritual Leader – Godly Wisdom and Guidance
All children need parents while growing up. Parents feed, protect and educate their children into adulthood. We need the same to grow up spiritually. We need a spiritual “parent” that has been in relationship with God for much longer than we have. Someone who has been faithful in serving God with plenty of fruit to show for it. A parent that can feed, protect and educate us in all things pertaining to God and His Kingdom.
Like 2 year old’s often think that they are ready to drive a car, a parent knows better. They know better because of their years of experience. A spiritual leader knows how to look after us and help us mature in our relationship with God. They lead us with wisdom they have cultivated from years of relationship with God.
Your destiny can only be discovered through relationship with your Creator. Our spiritual leaders are God’s direct representation. He has given us the church so that we will be fed, educated, protected and propelled. Your destiny will always flow with the Kingdom of God represented by the church.
The Career Mentor – Experience and Knowledge
When you have discovered your destiny, you might have a clear picture of what you want to achieve. The roadmap on how to get there might not be that clear though. One of the wisest things you can do is to identify at least one person that has already achieved what you would like to. Such a person knows exactly how they got there. Like they say, hindsight is perfect sight. The mentor has already made all the mistakes. They know the most challenging parts of your industry and how to overcome it. They are also clear on the most effective and efficient way to get the result.
One of my very favourite sayings is: Good men learn from their mistakes. Brilliant men learn from other people’s mistakes.
Yes, we should learn from our mistakes. But why not learn from someone who has achieved the success you’re pursuing?
You can significantly shorten your learning curve with a successful mentor. That’s why reading books by seasoned professionals in your industry is so valuable. You can obtain knowledge that took them 30 years to learn.
The Life Strategist or Life Coach – Strategy, Accountability & Personal Development
Through the insight of a spiritual leader and a business mentor, you can come to know exactly what you should do. Actually doing it though can be a whole different story.
A life strategist is different to the already mentioned relationships. It is often very action-oriented. A strategist has more invested in you and in the coaching process. Their own success is directly determined by yours. You generally pay these people for results.
A spiritual leader can have hundreds of people to look after. Career mentors are often extremely busy and their time limited. As much as they care about you, they don’t always have the capacity to help you action the topics of discussion. They are invaluable in decision-making and the transfer of knowledge. But when it comes to pushing you towards your goals, they cannot be compared to a life coach.
As a life coach myself I deliberately limit my clientele to a smaller number of people. This allows me to focus more on quality than on quantity. I stay on top of where we are in the process with biweekly sessions. This ensures more frequent evaluation, adaption and consistent progress. We strategize to find the most appropriate action steps. We then enforce this with high levels of accountability to ensure consistent progress.
A good coach is also skilled in helping clients to development themselves. The coach helps to identify limiting patterns of thoughts and behaviour. They also introduce tools and techniques for overcoming them and being more effective. A life strategist can help clients to unlock potential they didn’t even know they possessed.
The Driven Peer or Partner – Encouragement and Support
This is someone who does life with you on almost a day-to-day basis. You generally spend more time with this person than all the above mentioned people. It can be a spouse, a close best friend and/or a business partner. When choosing this person you should see to it that it is someone who fiercely believes in you and your big dream. They should always be encouraging and up-lifting. It is wise to choose someone who’s definition of success aligns with yours.
Having a person that is also very driven can inspire you through their own pursuit. Iron sharpens iron. You cannot keep company with ambitious people and stay mediocre. You will be forced to grow and go with them.
The Mentee – Joy and Fulfillment by Giving
When you establish the above mentioned relationships, you’ll be seeing rapid growth. Myles Munroe once said: “The world is so mediocre, you only have to put in some effort to get to the top.” These strategic relationships will set you apart from the great majority of people. Soon you’ll have something rare: a unique combination of wisdom, knowledge and experience. You’ll then be able to start mentoring people yourself.
You only realize what you have learned when you start sharing it with others. Positively influencing others is one of the most fulfilling things you will ever do. This will inspire you to want to learn and grow even more so that you can better help even more people.
So, can you put at least one name next to each of these? It is possible that some people will fulfill more than one of these roles. These people are gems that you will be wise to keep in your life.
Identify these destiny relationships and be intentional about keeping them alive.