People who are frustrated with their results often fail to recognize that the strongest enemy is themselves. It’s not other people or even, for us spiritual folk, the devil. The number one enemy of not achieving great things is SELF. More specifically, there’s one weapon that people often use against themselves without even realizing it. It is the weapon called, the tongue. With that I’m referring to the words we use.
In being a life coach and basically having conversations for a living, I’ve seen this manifest in so many different ways over the years. I am therefore incredible attentive to the words that people use.
Here’s 4 things I often hear frustrated people say:
1. I don’t have time to…
Whenever I hear someone start a sentence this way, my mind immediately defaults to “you don’t know how to manage your time.” If there is one thing that effective people do really well, it’s using their time wisely. They are very intentional about the way they spend this most precious commodity.
“I don’t have time” is often one of the first things I hear from new clients. I’ll typically take them through an exercise to show them exactly how many open slots they have on their calendar. They always seem dumbfounded.
We all have the same 24 hours a day available to us. How come some are able to achieve so much more? Effective people manage their time well. For practical steps on improving your time management, also read the following: http://dirkswart.co.za/5-steps-to-get-most-out-of-time/
2. I am extremely busy…
Whenever I hear this, I think to myself: “No, you’re not.” Being busy is a mindset. This also becomes clear with the above mentioned exercise. Your tongue is the number one programming tool at your disposal. When you say and keep on saying something, you create and strengthen a paradigm or mindset.
“I am busy” is often something people say to overcompensate for the guilt they feel of not doing much. They might feel important by saying that. Some often believe they are busy because they can’t seem to find the time to do something. Refer to “I don’t have time”.
When people speak to me and say: “I know you’re extremely busy, but I would like to talk to you about…” I always think to myself: “No, I’m not.” I might only be able to see you next week, but I do have time. Busy people do not have to tell you that they’re busy.
3. I don’t know when I’ll…
Effective people are very intentional about what they want to achieve. They show their intent by having a proper plan or strategy in place. A plan is not a plan until it has a timeline connected to it, in other words, it is scheduled on a calendar.
So, by saying you don’t know when, you’re basically telling me that you haven’t planned it yet. You have no workable strategy in place.
4. I just first need to…
These, to me, are perfect curse words. “I would love to start reading. I just first need to find a book.” I would like to start jogging. I just first need to buy myself new running shoes” “I would love to travel. I just first need to make some money.” Although this might sound realistic to some, these can be great procrastinating words. This is often where a lot of people set up camp. They always talk, but do nothing that will bring them closer to the desired result. So what would an effective person say instead?
An effective person will, for example, decide that they want to travel to New York. They might not be able to afford it right away, but they can schedule a date that will give them time to save up for the trip. They might then typically say: “I am traveling to New York next year over December.”
To end off, successful people are very mindful of the words they use. They realize that by speaking they are creating. They are creating their inner world that manifests in their outer world.
“By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.” – Hebrews 11:3
We were created in God’s image and likeness and therefore we have the same ability to frame our world with our words.
Use your words wisely!